Please correct my essay.Thanks
Prompt: Many childhood experiences leave lifelong impressions on people. Write an essay in which you describe a memorable childhood experience and explain its effect on your life.
Strong impressions and memories in childhood tend to affect a person's life. Fortunately, I have a great memory in my childhood that is giving positive influence to my life. I remember that I used to go to picnic every Saturday with my family. My parents like to go to small town village out side of city to the nature.
When I was really young around five years old, we went to the park and mountain near by my house. My mother waked my brother and me up early in the morning to be prepared. We all wore same color of shirts and jeans although I felt it was embarrassed. I learned how to ride a bicycle from my father. He also taught me fishing, hiking and even riding a horse. Through the diverse experiences within the nature, I could feel comfortable and appreciated to the nature.
In addition, when I was in teenager, my parents more likely to have family trip to different state instead of forcing me to study a home. While my father was driving, we had a great conversation in a car. Through the time, we could more understand each other. He brought our family to various places so I could wide my perspective of views towards the life.
Although I was not aware of the precious moment at the time, now I can tell how it was important in my life. Through the time we were being together, I learned how family works together and help each other. Also, that is the reason why my parents are still my best friend who I can talk everything.
Although I was not aware of how precious the moments were at the time, I am now able to tell how it important they were in my life . Through the time we were together, I learned how family works together and helps each other. This is the reason why my parents are still my best friends,with whom I can talk about everything .
Hi Yoon, I hope that helps! Although, and this is REALLY important, the prompt calls for "a memorable childhood experience" not many. Thus, you really need to choose, focus on, and write about only one experience, not two. Good luck!
oh.. I hadn't noticed that there was 'a memorable experience',
your indication is also helpful for me
In addition, when I was in teenager(when I was in teenage)
While my father was driving , we had a great conversation in a car
- I don't know why that guy modified this 'while my father drove' alhough 'while' is used with 'be' verb
- 'we had a lot of great conversation in the car' would be better than 'many'
These types of questions can be some of the most fun to answer, since they ask you to recall probably the most enjoyable time of your life—childhood. The key, however, is to develop an interesting topic and show what the experience you choose means to you today. Though the narrative style will most likely be your expository method of choice, remember to employ thematic coherence and a solid thesis. Because you are the one who knows yourself best, this is your chance to be precise, incorporating specific, vivid details. Show growth. Show maturation. But, most importantly, show yourself.
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