I think you have begun with a great outline to what you intend to write about. When teachers ask you to write an introduction, there are several ideas for grabbing the attention of your audience. Often we call this a hook. This idea of a hook is missing in your introduction. This last sentence of the intro is already perfect to exist as a thesis statement and a road map if each of those reasons are eventually going to receive their own paragraphs.
So, what are examples of good hooks? An anecdote (short short story), a quote, a song lyric, sometimes a good question, or a shocking statistic could work. As I am looking at your paragraph in fact, I was reminded of a song lyric: Don't know much about history. You might play with that idea. Or, you might think of a time when history has repeated itself.
I guess what I am saying is try to improve that first sentence, although direct, you could spice it up a little. A 3-sentence intro would do you good:
1. hook: grab the reading audience's attention
2. transitional sentence: connect the idea of the hook to your purpose for writing.
3. thesis: leave yours as is.
Good luck! Hope this helps!
February 11, 2014, by Guest blogger
Why I chose to study History
Faye Haslam explains why she’d tell her 18 year-old self to study History.
I have always enjoyed learning about history, exploring more about our heritage and how the past has shaped who we are today. When it came to deciding what to study at university, although I looked into pursuing a science subject, I ultimately chose to follow the path I knew I would enjoy the most.
What I loved about doing a degree in history is that you’re always learning and discovering something new. One minute I was learning about smugglers in seventeenth-century Britain, the next the development of the blockbuster in Hollywood!
Studying something that you love not only makes your experience of university more enjoyable, it has a knock-on effect on your results. Because I enjoyed what I was studying, I was more driven to challenge myself and achieve my best. It’s hard to imagine keeping your motivation through the (many!) stresses of essays and exams when you can’t stand the subject…
With all of the pressures surrounding students today, it’s easy to think that you should choose a degree with clear career prospects. However, the huge range of transferable skills you gain from a degree such as history, from writing and analytical thinking, to research skills, organisation, time management and more should not be underestimated and can take you into a wide variety of careers. In my current position in marketing, I use the skills I gained in my degree on a daily basis, demonstrating that a subject such as history is relevant and valuable in the world of work.
I’ve never regretted my choice of degree, and if I were to speak to my 18-year-old self, I would tell them to make the same choice. By choosing to study something I am passionate about, I have made myself more employable and graduated with a range of crucial skills, but more importantly, I loved every moment of my university experience!
Read more from other students, academics and employers on the Study What You Love pages.
Posted in UoN alumniUoN staff